Life In Twisted Motion

To my “followers” (if I actually do have one. You know, the kind of people who really do wait for your next post) I’m so sorry for not posting an actual blog lately. Because the past 7 months of my life has been quite a roller coaster filled with different kinds of events, to say the least. But oddly enough, I didn’t feel any, not even a tiny bit of urge to blog about it. Maybe because I just lost my appetite for blogging, I don’t know.

So for my friends, those distant and far away friends, even the virtual ones I met online who follow my blog, here’s a little update on how things have been going for me and my life in general:

• I’m still unemployed, though I’ve been pretty much occupied by a lot of stuff. (i.e. freelancing, commissions, household commitments, pending artworks from last year, additional paintings and artworks, portfolio building, learning new programs, and other personal matters I have to deal with, etc.)

That’s why I’m really not that much pressured into finding and landing an actual job right at this moment. I actually listed all the things I needed to accomplish before I’ll go search for “real” jobs and believe me, an entire piece of paper was not enough. My mom thinks I’m just bumming around the house this whole time because I’m not telling her about these things and she’s getting to the point where she’s the one who’s trying to find a work for me. Well almost. She’s trying to trick me into getting any kind of job just so I can gain work experience. I bet she’ll even approve of a secretarial desk job for me—just anything that would make me leave the house. Like that’s gonna help me build a career.

Actually, I already applied at an ad agency based on Makati 6 months ago. I got the position but I turned it down for selfish reasons and to tell you the truth, I kind of regret doing that, a little. But anyway that’s another story. Moving on…

• I took a little time-off, like a life-rehab vacation of some sort. I manned up and changed my worst habits for college had been, let’s say, a bitch to my personal being—health and character wise. I think I learned all sorts of things during my 4-yr stay at the university; some of which are beneficial like socializing and making friends, creative growth and development and other similar stuff but it also left some ugly and poisonous disease inside me which could someday stab my back like a double-edged sword. Tardiness, rigidness, disobedience, procrastination, badmouthing, drinking, smoking, heck even emotional eating— I adopted so many of these bad habits that I would do anything to unlearn it in an instant. I’d be eternally happy if I could just eject it out of my system right now.

But I’m still glad that I had the courage to fight it before it could actually kill me. I started my recovery 6 months ago by taking the cigarettes and junk food out of my daily consumables and by eating healthy-ier..err. I’m also fixing my tardiness issues now by managing my time more efficiently (which I am shockingly succeeding at, btw). I am still dealing with the whole nicotine-withdrawal thing up until now (God knows how hard it is) but we’ll get there. I have yet 4 more major habits to break but we’ll take it down one at a time. Baby steps, baby steps.

The rest of the list are things I don’t want to explain further so I’ll just sum it up in a few words.

• Mom finally decided to move house. I‘m not sure if it’s gonna happen anytime soon, but we(and by we, I mean me) already started cleaning and sorting out useless junk we’ve been keeping inside the house for several years, which led me to unearthing old objects from my childhood which I am also going to post here some other time.
• I discovered the Illuminati conspiracy theory and it has enlightened me as well. But the other way around. It only made my faith to God grew much stronger than it was before and it made me appreciate the simplicity of life and all the littlest things on this planet. 

• One of my very dearly loved-ones died. He was shot and killed 23 days ago. Along with his death went my belief for this country and our humanity. There is no more hope for the Philippine justice. Righteousness in this country is doomed to failure, it just is.

On a lighter note, I have a new found interest on cosmetics and make-up and I’ve been constantly watching youtube videos trying to learn more about it. Also, it’s dark-lips season and I’m beginning to love this trend. I was so afraid of putting color on my lips before but I guess I can afford a little change on my appearance. I tried it (see top photo) and I guess it’s not so scary after all. Or maybe I’m wrong? Idk.

Btw, that’s my I-just-saw-a-ghost face. Lulz.